YakimaGulagLiteraryGazett

I called Ivan the Terrible last night, partly to just touch base, partly because he will be doing my taxes and we needed to solve some logistical problems and partly just because he is my son and one ought to once in awhile call one's son and talk.

Anyway, he told me that if I ever needed to feel better about ANYPLACE I ever lived in my life, I should get online and Google up the Moscow Times and just read the crime stories.

My favorites from the list of flamboyantly imperfect crimes:

* A guy killed his wife accidentally when he dropped a hand grenade, a VERY old hand grenade in her near vicinity.

*A guy poisoned someone or other by putting the poison on the man's home telephone

*Some guys killed another guy, not sure of the motive, but they disposed of the corps by cutting it into bits and flushing the bits of the victim down the toilet. This resulted in MASSIVE plumbing problems for the ENTIRE building AND the crime was discovered so if this sounded like a good idea to anyone, just don't o.k.?

There were other stories, oh the phone poisoner was caught after like what 13 years? He did the crime in 1995 and was JUST caught very recently, so that method is not so reliable either....

But then what do you expect of a country that is run by a known poisoner? Maybe the big wall needs to go back up....