YakimaGulagLiteraryGazett

Well the question is answered quite simply, I met someone from Bosnia, actually I met him at church, he's an older guy, he probably doesn't want all his personal stuff on the Internet. I will therefore not name or describe him except to say that I am very fond of him, he's also an endless source of frustration, mostly because he's in his own country, and I am in mine, most people play 'your place or mine?' we play 'your country or mine?'
Anyway I went there at his invitation and found the experience of being in Bosnia itself life changeing. It was wierd to go to a country where despite the fact at the time I did not speak the language, I felt 'normal', I felt at home.
There is another wierd thing I should mention, from about age four, I had these dreams, I dreamed that I was flying, sometimes like a bird does, sometimes in an airplane, and I was in this country that I did not know, the houses were a lot different than San Francisco. I had these dreams at intervals in my life and sometimes I dreamed of a nightmare landscape, ruined houses, walking with large numbers of people and all of us haveing a big problem and a lot of fear. I personally had not had any real disasters in my life by that age. I was not sheltered as a kid, but I was not in harsh circumstances either. I could not say these dreams meant anything special, psychologically speaking.
I now think they were prescient dreams, or perhaps in some cases dreams from another life.
Anyway from the moment the plane was in Bosnian airspace, I began to feel like I'd gone home, and I looked out the window at a tiny town, through the clouds. It was not my first air trip, but it was my first trip overseas. I spent time in Mexico as a child, that is out of the country but it is NOT overseas, it's different, I did not cross an ocean, or leave a continent. There is a different thing to going that far, to the 'Old World'.
Because a substantial part of my heritage is Irish, and culturally I have a strong identification with Irish people, I didn't expect this shock of recognition to hit me in Bosnia!
The air felt right, then we went to my fiance's place, he went out and got some cevapcici, and some beer, and while he was out, I am not Muslim, I'm Catholic, but I heard the azan called, and somehow that felt right too.
I had some reaction to the altitude, but beyond that, I was healthy all that first visit, and I enjoyed going around and seeing things, picking up the language, and meeting my fiance's friends.
Later, I went home and I'm kind of the family's history buff. I got busy learning about the history. I wanted to remain as objective as possible. This is not easy, but I made the effort.
Anyway, I know other sorts of European history, I'm a pretty good amateur Medievalist, so it really wasn't too hard dopeing out that my family way back did have roots in Bosnia. OK that explained something.
Sometimes very subtle cultural things stay with a family a long time. Things about myself began to make sense.
I made two other trips over there, to see my fiance, who had assorted troubles with his visa situation.
He had problems as well with his health.
In fact just staying in touch has been very difficult. He doesn't like to write, telephoneing is expensive, I do most of the calling. Something vital in the dynamics of a normal relationship has been damaged by the distance and the fact that if it weren't for me there would not be contact.
I learned the language fairly quickly, I wanted to know it, I had questions to ask him, I wanted to understand his too rare letters, and to make myself clear to him. Besides, if you are going to be involved with someone from another country, you are smart to learn the language. That way it is so much harder to pull a fast one on you. A language is of itself a valuable skill anyway.
I have to be honest and admit that often I am frustrated about this situation. There isn't a lot I can do right now about just going there, even for a visit. I might not have another chance to fix the gaps in my education either.